wind and rain

What an odd few weeks, and an odder couple of days, I must do more cpd23, but the end in sight has had me procrastinating, I don't want to end it.
Work has been hard and full of quandary's, I hope I dealt with them all okay, only time will tell.
Today Tom's aunt was buried, and sadly my uncle died, double whammy. Both old and in very poor health, Kathleen didn't know who was who at a family get together 7 years ago and had got worse. While Peter had suffered a series of strokes leaving less and less of him there.
I am getting through my secret Santa knit and have a promotion possible, so like the weather wind and rain but potential clear skies to come.
Mind you we do have a bit of snow due Sunday :-) may have to look out the sledge again...

Autumns here!

I have had an odd few days, a web chat I follow had a lass on who had lost her friend to suicide, most sent comments to help, but it brought up all my own memories of Tracey and how devastated I was when she took her own life. I still miss her every week and still think 'Tracey would laugh at this...' before remembering she has gone. But the chat and comments brought back the raw pain and the sense of confusion, the why, the what if's, the ideas of, was it me? I sent my own note in and she thanked me personally as I hadn't sent 'don't worries' and other nice but unhelpful comments.

Later I heard about a friends who was very ill had passed away, which on top of the first left me a bit like a damp sponge, I woke in the night crying (again) and ran out of tissues in the house. I havent come to any sense of understanding about that yet but I will. Just need shares in paper goods :-).

Final issue of the weekend has been our little cat Smudge, she was sick Friday, and still not good Saturday, She seemed to rally this morning but by afternoon we rang the vets and she went in, and she has gastroenteritis, and needs fluids! so she is at the vets and we shall get her tomorrow, but we thought we would lose her too. She was a very poorly cat and even though she is safe we worry until shes home again. It was something she has eaten, but short of locking them in all day we cant stop them foraging, of course the kittens have been shut in since lunchtime to keep Tom happy! :-D Now hes worrying still but at least at the vets all will be done for her, better than with us and getting worse.

I sound sad in all this but oddly I am not, I knew my friend was just waiting on death, Tracey was such a shock but time passing had helped me as have good friends around me. Smudge is safe even if not home.

Autumn is here, the days are cold and the nights sharp and frozen, the leaves are gone and the garden dormant, I have my Christmas cards and some of my gifts, and plans for more soon... and odd time of year,

November

No sun - no moon!
No morn - no noon -
No dawn - no dusk - no proper time of day.
No warmth, no cheerfulness, no healthful ease,
No comfortable feel in any member -
No shade, no shine, no butterflies, no bees,
No fruits, no flowers, no leaves, no birds! -
November!

Thomas Hood

and to quote Coca Cola "The Holidays are coming"

Home time

I am having a kitchen day, no work, no other stuff, just fun, and baking.

Have done a wash load and dried one, made sponge cake and bread and making Christmas cake!

Have the makings out for a casserole and doing apple crumble with the last of our own apples for tea! Must go and move clothes to get more washing going, but as you see a nice baking day!

I refuse to get dressed and after my nice bath (early afternoon when I have a new book to read in my kindle) I shall make the next bits of food and tidy up, and Hubby is finally doing the window! but now has run out of wood so tomorrow will include a trip to Thurso to get more!

Kittens are under foot begging for food and, well, more food!

Kids are either up and on the computer, up and out with mates or not yet up! depending on their own worlds...

Saw the new calendars yesterday and I need some, so I must get money sorted and go buy some from the northern loops bods! And had good day out at the Dunnet Brittania hall car boot sale!

I would upload pics but the sponge cake is gone the bread is almost gone and the big cake is still cooking, and the rest is just ideas... so just trust me it was good :-)

Prevarication

I don't want to finish the cpd23 and so am finding lots to do rather than it! This doesn't work and I really should just bite the bullet, but somehow I feel if I finish it, it is over somehow, and I don't want to do that! Life is like trying to ford a river in flood, pushed too and fro, hit by passing debris while trying to keep as much of me dry, each extra wet item gets rationalised, or ignored. The end in sight but seeming out of reach, and while some passing people help I still can't quite get across. I know this is just me being slightly swamped, and I know I can do all this and more and most I am enjoying. I am not as well I could be and I think it is dragging me down a bit. I am just in the right frame of mind to write really bad poetry... But all that reminds me of is a dear friend who is ill, and who I can't help, save or even make any more comfortable! His loss will be great and sadly not that far off.
I need my holidays but we have just come back form them, I think I shall collapse and not get out of bed for the weekend and that way I may be better for next week (when CAT testing takes over, maybe) Ho Hum, bell goes and back to work! I shall do more CPD23 this week and finish it by the end of next week I hope.

Things #17 and #19

I have just spent a morning making a prezi presentation which turned out to be harder than I first thought but ultimately easier than I feared, this was my first try and very bitty it looks now I am done but I didn't have a plan when I started it. HLH Libraries which was fun to make... So I can rate Thing #17 as a success, I will be making more and dragging it round to the teachers and other librarians as and when I can, I am so glad I did cpd23 and have been recommending it round when I can.
Thing #19 is more reflective, I haven't kept my diary as well as I had hoped but find myself doing the tasks even in my head most days and just adding them to paper if I have too much or if I start missing things, mostly I have sorted out my head with it and hope to keep reapplying it, I am not all efficent and organised but I am getting there. Some things I have tried and not found to my liking, I loved the idea of google documents but didn't find them good to use, the calendars managed to get others interested and now the ICT suites and the library in the school are all bookable through an online google calendar which means you can see the whole school provision at a glance (not my own work but I clami midwife rights) I am enjoying my CPD23 time and make a little bit most weeks for it, I don't always blog as sometimes it takes me a few days to get my head round an idea. It is harder to Blog when I don't see any use for a tool as I don't know if I should look closer or it just isn't for me!
I shall be catching up again this week but may not get blogged until the holidays next week when I should get more peace time.

update

Just rereading some of my older posts and my shake up is still on, I have nearly finished round my computer and by my chair at home, work is down to 4 boxes which I should get done over the next few eeks and first week of hols! my clothes have been shaken but not fully sorted, that needs some more of my friend Heather to help me vet things, may ask both her and Sharon over for a weekend of sorting!
So work is moving and I am still keeping my reflective journal (not sure I am doing it right but its happening) and so am not missing work things, home is not quite as organised but there are 4 other people to sort there...
Kittens now small cats and very fun but hard work. they are all jagged and chipped and well, poor smudge still growls at them but they do like to stalk her! poor love.

Things #15, #16 and #18

Thing #15 #16 and #18

I see thing #17 got postponed, such is life.

I have a bad wrist so my typed work is short at the moment, no reflection on cdp23! Just me!

Thing #15 is about going to and participating in conferences and events, I did go to umbrella this summer and got heaps from it. I need to know more about advocacy (yes thing #16) and to be more open minded (as well as open posted, I didn’t always open my Cilip post if I was busy!) I plan to set up a mash up in the winter/spring when our own work has settled, new jobs fun but hard work esp. as my other side has problems and I was in the works depot at 8am looking at the state of the library van! After the 1^st of October we become a ‘private ltd co’ and we hope to have the bulk of our training done by the end of the year, so I shall be organising one for after that in the highland capital Inverness. So yes I will be attending, organising and even plan to give a paper for the next Umbrella on how life has changed for us and how to get the best from it! Big plans but I hope to live up to it.

Thing #16 is one I need to do more of, I shall be changing my groups or adding it, I didn’t know what was covered by this and I need to know more. I shall be following more links and doing more work, and I think this for me is tied in with thing #15. I need to get my blog out to a wider audience, and I need to get more of my own interactions into the wider professional community. I shall be looking into the links and doing more commenting and I shall be linking my blog to the cdp23 for this thing as it is potentially the most important one so far. As a profession we can only stand a whole, no one else will ride in to save us (and we shouldn’t wait for it either) We need each other and if we all work together we can make changes, we can show a need. One voice isn’t much but when its many we have more chance, and we need to say more and do more (when we have time!) and the best tool for this is advocacy.

Thing #18 I already do to a bit of an extent, I have film of the kids on world book day and other things saved but not yet used! I spend part of my day watching podcasts and news clips, and I make power points to catch and keep kids attention already, but to step into podcasting is a big one, I am looking forward to making a podcast of my library skills so other kids can do it as they get time, or to brush up on them. As I am part of a group looking into best practice in this I am hoping ot get the best and podcast it, sadly I don’t have all the technology yet but I have plans and hope to be more savvy next term when glow to meeting get running more.

Over all I am finding that the CPD23 is helping but I will be going back and doing things when they more fit in my time, I plan to take some work on holiday at Christmas to write and do when not online!